I am not using it as a 'badge of courage', only to get the correct treatment. If I had been accurately diagnosed 2 years ago, I may not be in this mess now. But I wasn't.

I think I had a medication-induced hypomania 2 years ago, when I started on meds for the first time in my life. At that point, I had no idea what symptoms to look for. But now, looking back, it seems clear to me that is what was going on.

I'm thinking Borderline because of relationship issues, the high impulsivity, and recurrent suicidal behavior. However, my reasons to doubt that are that I was never abused, and I do not self-injure. However, I do have self-destructive behavior that does not involve cutting.

Bipolar because of the strange erratic behavior I had 2 years ago....and again just recently. I don't think I'm classic bipolar I, but possibly II. Or just medication-induced, which doesn't actually fit a diagnosis.

Anyway...in some ways, you are right Riptide. It doesn't matter the diagnosis as long as I'm getting treatment. But it would sure be irresponsible for me to take 200 mg of Zoloft if I could be Bipolar, woudln't it?! And if I'm not making any strides with CBT, my therapist may want to try DBT. Just saying....while the label doesn't matter, the correct treatment does.