I just want to add gently I hope that I had a friend that had a problem and I tried to support her getting sober and spent hours talking to her and spending time with her, and we rode our horses together. I failed and she was still young yet and she died from this disease. My friend is gone.

Yes, you have trauma and you use alcohol to cope, but it's a deadly way to cope and it never solves any problems.

I am sorry your mother isn't supportive, but there are people in AA programs that can be understanding and supportive. My husband had a problem and he has been sober for 28 years now and he helps and supports others to learn how to live their lives sober. He has many friends in the program and chairs meetings too. You need to find your way out of this disease and to heal and learn to live your life sober.