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Nov 20, 2020, 02:34 AM
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Member Since: Mar 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,143
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Thought these examples might help:
Quote:
Tips from parents and professionals
There are some rules I stick to, but it’s about giving them enough control, like a game plan.
Use physical prompts rather than directly asking them to do something. ‘If I asked her to put her shoes on it wouldn’t work. If I tap her foot with the shoe next to it she will.’
Use the child’s special interests – the Fat Controller says we should …Depersonalise the request – it’s not me asking, it's government policy.
Make them believe they are helping you. ‘Oh I don’t know how to do it’, or, ‘Where’s your shoes, I can’t find them.’
Invite them to collaborate – do you want to do A, B or C first? Which job should I do in this task?
Reduce demands: ‘Let’s get half of you dressed, and then I’ll come back later and get the other half of you dressed.’
Never go head-to-head with them over an issue. Nobody wins!
If they avoid baths try using bath bombs, a drop of food colouring, or a nice smell in the bath to get them interested in getting in the water. My son loved me to freeze his Lego men in ice-cubes and then he would free them by throwing them in the water. Bath time was much easier with an incentive like this.
If they ask you to do something, try not to see it as them bossing you about or that you are giving in, they just might need you to do it at that moment because they need to feel in control of their environment. You can work on manners and how we ask for help later when they are more responsive.
If there are things that we want him to try, we let him know that he can try if for five minutes and walk away if it’s no good or too stressful. If they refuse to eat, try strewing food (leaving various items for breakfast on a table and various items for packed lunches on a worktop) then leaving the room. My daughter could take whatever she felt comfortable with, with no implicit demand to take anything whatsoever and no comment made. She was able to leave her evening meal to warm up at any time during the evening and could eat it anywhere she chose (often in the bath).
Try to read their moods around whether you would be able to gain their compliance with a task such as homework, dressing, going outside for fresh air or helping with something – some days they will, and others they will be unable to meet the demand and it is not worth pushing as you will end up with a highly stressful situation which spirals out of control
Read them stories to teach them about social situations indirectly. My son learns many things about feelings etc from listening to stories. He wouldn’t listen if I told him but I know he is learning things that way.
Finding ways for his body to relax, we even bought him a waterbed as turning over at night used to wake him up he was such a light sleeper. With a water bed, the need to turn over is much less frequent.
If a strategy seems to work then stops working, don’t bin it, just shelve it for a while.
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