I didn't believe it was real at first either. I kept a journal, some of the things in there were way off. One day I asked my therapist if his thoughts talked to him and that's when I knew. It's okay not to be aware, I'm still constantly waking up to my illness or certain truths about reality. learn mindfulness, keep a journal and simply be open to to acceptance. This is all part of the process and you are going to be okay. I have this illness and my life is okay. I have an apartment, a boyfriend, and I make art. I feel content.