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NaoSky
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NaoSky Depressed again :(
 
Member Since: Nov 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 174
3 yr Member
90 hugs
given
Default Nov 21, 2020 at 05:50 PM
 
I keep feeling sorry for myself. I keep thinking, why me? I think how unfair this disorder is. I really thought my life was beginning, I was so happy and so sure of my decisions. Now that I’m on the down side and acknowledging that I have this illness, I just don’t want to fully accept it. I try not to think, try to pass time playing games or watching tv, anything I can to not think about this illness. I feel like it’s a slow death sentence. I read that people with bipolar have shortened life expectancies by 9-20 years. It’s like a cancer that affects our brains and we have to pump ourselves with pills just to be normal, but what is truly normal? This is my first time going through this so I have no idea what normal will look like for me. I sleep way less, worry more, and have no motivation. I’m only happy when I have my 2 year old and my marriage and living situation is rocky because of decisions I made during the mania. I feel like this should have never happened and I want to go back to what my life used to be like. I feel like I’m living a nightmare. When did you guys finally accept our fate? How long will it take? I’m trying so hard to accept what happened to me, but it’s so difficult. I just want to wake up and someone tell me that I was just in some coma, but I’m ok now, it was just a dream.
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Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, BipolaRNurse, bpcyclist, Crazy Hitch, daladico, Innerzone, Teddy Bear, wolftrap
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, BipolaRNurse, bpcyclist, daladico