Hey Azul.👋 I totally hear you, friend.

I used to do exactly what you mentioned. If I had a really bad time at a specific place, if my social anxiety got triggered very badly (which was very very often, every day, for a while there) first I'd come home to collect myself and to process the inner turmoil. And I'd feel so disappointed in myself for not being able to just be around people without it totally doing my head in, that I'd head straight back to the place where I got triggered to kind of 'even things up' in my mind. And I did that in the worst emotional states I've known. Awful.

At the very least, by doing that, I could come home and say to myself "at least I'm not letting my mental illness have the final say". Those were mad, mad times, though. Wasn't that long ago either. But in a way it was good for me. I'm doing better these days.🙂