Whatever it is that you experienced, has obviously scarred you a bit @iris2000. Yes. That's why those memories aren't going away so quickly - they're linked to the impact the event had on you. The fear of dying is probably anxiety, and it's all part of experiencing a traumatic, heart rending event. You're 17, so I think it's really good you're reaching out like this. And I just want you to know, what you're going through isn't abnormal at all, in fact, from my understanding, it's actually a very common response to a very difficult episode in a persons life.