Dear daladico,

Thanks so much for your post. I hope you get lots of responses to it and that some prove helpful.

When I am irritable, I get stuck in a "could be better but isn't better" frame of mind. What helps me personally is to try to shift to a "could be worse, but isn't worse" frame of mind.

Usually I sit down and make a list of things I am grateful for in myself, others and in life in general. If I find I irritate myself I try to comfort myself with the thought that I could be worse but am not worse. If I find another person irritates me I try to remember that this person could be worse than they are, but are not worse. Perhaps someone is getting on my nerves. I try to remember the good about this person and that this person is no Adolf Hitler. If life is getting to me I try to remember that I am not on fire, don't have rabies, am not stranded in the desert without water and so on. I try to move from attitude to gratitude. Usually I have to look at the list all through the day and night if I am really irritated.

I realize of course that what helps one of us might not work for someone else or might even make them feel worse. I can only share what helps me. I hope your post engenders many helpful responses from others here.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen