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Nov 22, 2020, 03:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KBMK
Relationships are not easy, and everyone has complicated reasons for their own relationship difficulties. We learn about ourselves in relationships, and sometimes we get some unhelpful lessons that teach us we're someone other than ourselves, and teach us to have unrealistic expectations. We get into things that aren't right for us, and get sick of feeling out of touch, and out of place.
I don't know anyone that's totally happy with themselves and their relationships.
"Start small" is really good advice. You're making yourself heard here. You write eloquently. There are lots of people who sympathize with what you're going through, and know there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Have you ever felt like this before?
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I have never been sociable, but I was able to form a sort of friendships during school and university. But about 7-8 years ago, I have become very withdrawn with severely damaged self-esteem. I didn't feel this despair before. I was hopeful and motivated. But at some point, the light at the end of the tunnel disappeared, and everything has become dark and bleak.
I don't see a doctor or a therapist. I probably should, but I feel strongly negative about this. I don't see it would help with my state of mind. They would tell me I am wrong and I need a paradigm shift, and I would have to change for things to change, and I need to try and test my hypotheses (fears) ... etc. I know that, and everyone tells me this. Just finished a call with my parents, and they basically told me this: I am a failure, and everyone is better than me because I have a closed mind, and keep myself locked inside my apartment, and I have to see a doctor! Needless to say, I became defensive, and ended the call. I know I need to change, but I don't have a strong motivation to change. I know it's ironic, but it is what it is.
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