PinkLeaves, this has been a long time problem for you with your husband where you have to do the work. It's time to drop the dead weight he has been for you and finally focus on yourself. You have become way too codepent and you need to finally learn how to let go and take care of yourself. You can't help him either, he has to want to get help himself and he isn't showing any interest in doing that, hasn't for a very long time, years actually.