I know the feeling of lonliness and despair. In fact i feel it every day at least somewhat. I knew i had to do something about it or i would have to just become a vegetable. i was in a vehicle accident in the early 1980s and almost left me a vegetable and i didn't want my family to help me. they actually called an ambulance to get me to go there. at first i didn't like it but throughout the years grew to thank them. I hope you don't get as bad as i was as there is still time for you and there is so much to do and learn. hobbies, motivation skills or just plain listening to music. you can even learn to play an instrument. I am sorry but i think music healed me partway. I played piano, but even though i dont play alot anymore, because my son lives with me qnd i don't have as much time to practice. I am now trying to learn the flute. I am stressing music for the reason the it could be one way out of your lonliness and bad feelings. Plus you can meet other musicians and they can help you. Good luck!!