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10 years ago I would look at addicts and ask “why can’t you just stop?” and now I look at myself and ask the same question. Two weeks sober tomorrow, but the urges are strong. I need to get a job. I need to get my adhd treated. Other stuff too.
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"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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