I seem to have a commitment issue. I really love this girl, but I feel very conflicted. I want to get in an intimate deep relationship with her, but at the same, I want to experience pleasure with other women through dating and sex. I can't seem to reconcile these two conflicting emotions. I want to fool around because I am only 24 [Male]. But at the same time, she is truly special. And non-monogamy isn't an option because I know she is very conservative, and I don't want to hurt her with such a shameful proposal.

I first thought that I just want more sexual experience with other beautiful women of various ethnicity for a rich experience. I thought about buying a prostitute and that idea didn't excite me much. So it must be that I want to feel validated, and I feel like I will regret getting into a serious relationship because I missed out on getting experience with others.

I thought it was just a normal feeling for young people these days, but now I am not so sure anymore. I think the main issue lies in the fact that I am conflicted between chasing sexual pleasure vs settling down with the special one.

I feel guilty because some people will say that if I truly think she is the one, I would forget about other things. But I really couldn't.

How do you reconcile such conflict emotions? Uhh, I feel torn down.