I think talking to a therapist might help. You have nothing to lose, and you might find out that all is not lost. In other words, don't allow what you were told in the past to determine who you are. I had a horrific childhood (just as you did)......People (like your father) who are so critical are quite often insecure.Your father was so wrong....people are NOT the enemy.....but sadly HE was the enemy in your life with all of that abuse. Is there something you would like to do? Abusers are often so insecure and dislike themselves, and so they put all of that abuse on an innocent child. There was and is.....nothing wrong with you. It takes courage to try to ignore the lies you were told, but you can.....choose to take little baby steps and begin to recognize those voices which tell lies about yourself.