My therapist is trying to get me to *feel* my negative emotions instead of blocking them out or hiding from them. When I'm not paying attention, something will remind me of something horrible, and I'll just start crying. When that happens, I immediately try to swipe it away, focus on other things and move on. Apparently, I'm supposed to be able to feel those negative emotions instead.

So I'm making time every day to sit somewhere quiet, and find the negative emotions, and 'feel' them so that I can learn that nothing bad happens when you feel the negative emotions.
Except. My walls are so high and thick that I can sit for a fracking week, and nothing gets through! It's only when I'm NOT looking for it that it gets through.
I can sit there and think of bad memories, etc and it's like, 'Yep, that happened!' and I'm utterly unconcerned. If I'm sitting and watching TV, however, and something pops up, all of a sudden I'm crying!
I have a pre-teen so I can't just sit around letting myself cry at random things, so when I feel that, "I'm going to cry" feeling, I squelch it. Over the course of my almost 50 years I've squelched everything so successfully that I am unable to un-squelch.
I dread going to my next T appt and reporting that I tried every day but couldn't summon any emotion.
Ideas welcome!!!!