Quote:
Originally Posted by Diurnal
At this point, what I do I just do it to survive. I don't enjoy doing anything, and nothing motivates me to do anything, including getting better because I see no hope and it's late for me to build a life. My classmates are now managers/seniors in their jobs and own houses, cars, and have families and travel the world. I wasted my life pursuing advanced degrees to get a better job while they were juniors in their jobs, instead now I am unemployed, alone, and have nothing, and unemployable given my employment history with significant employment gaps. Now I have to start from the bottom as a junior, the point they were at 15 years ago. At my age, starting as a junior is not just too late, but employers don't hire people my age as juniors, and I don't have enough experience to start as a senior. My resumes don't even get responses anymore.
|
It might sound trite, but I do believe that for every loss something is gained. It might be hard to know what that is. The fact that you are taking care of your survival is good.
It might not be the same for you...I don't know how attached you are to your career ambitions?...
just the fact that you are feeling so lost, could be that you haven't been on the right path for yourself.
I was highly motivated by certain "successes" that didn't work out for me, and when it all went wrong I felt completely lost.
Getting through that, with some help and exploration, I've found new dreams and ambitions that I wasn't even aware I had.
You said that you weren't able to play outside with other kids?
It might be that you have to shift priorities to find some happiness. It could be that some time outdoors, playing games, and joining some chats on here, or other forums, could start to make up for something that's been missing from your life.
It's hard to face up to these kind of feelings, and I know it hurts LOADS, but as you deal with the sore feelings, things do get brighter, and you might reconnect to some happiness and excitement that you haven't felt in a long time. Sending hope and hugs
