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I mean, I know I could theoretically ask anything, that he could always decline. But I also feel like if I ask, then he'll do the therapist thing and ask why I'd want to know. And that's what I'm trying to figure out. I think it just feels jarring if he's in a different location than I expect and it can take me a minute to adapt (or much longer, the first time he was at home or in a different room in his home).
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I think that the "jarring" is the
effect that his room changing has on you, but I get the impression that the
cause of your discomfort is deeper rooter. You seem to be making a link between his environment and a possible or apparent invitation into other parts of his life. You catch a glimpse of something; you want to ask more; there is something new to distract you; some new information is more personal than before. These could all be descriptions of your reactions to seeing his environment or descriptions of your reactions to his disclosures or interpersonal responses to you. Perhaps it is both delicious and jarring to be partially invited in.