It sounds like you shut down/dissociate when H is being an azzhat.

It is a survival response, I used to be that way with my dad. I felt saying anything would just make it worse. What made it worse was not confronting his behavior head on.

I just did that last week in fact. As I packed up and left his house I said "oh by the way, this is what setting a boundary is you've crossed mine for the last time".

Be careful with martial arts and possible contracts. I just got skrewed majorly and can't get out of the contract unless I'm disabled or move 25 miles from the club. I had no idea I couldn't cancel...(long story)