I have done dreadful things in my life. Thinking back on them (which I do incessantly) takes my breath away. I never started out wanting to be an awful person. I intended to be the best of people. How did I allow myself to go SO wrong? I don't know. And, at this late stage in my life, I never will. Perhaps therapy would be nice... just having someone to talk to. But it wouldn't change anything. Have I learned anything from all of the mistakes I've made? Yes, I've learned that the world, or at least the tiny portion of it I inhabit, is better off without me. So I just keep to myself as I await the final curtain. Perhaps not being able to forget is simply just punishment for the rotten person I was.