[What exactly did he say?]
He flipped her off and she said “you would” and he said “I plead the fifth.” He was basically admitting he would sleep with her as a joke. At first I didn’t catch it and then he made another joke immediately after saying “When your girlfriend won’t let you have a threesome.” I got really really angry but I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s good time with a huge fight so I waited til he went home and texted him expressing how much it pissed me off and I was ready to break up with him until he apologized and showed that he truly was sorry. I also talked with my friends about it at the time and thought more about it and came to the conclusion that he’s just a really really immature teenage boy who was used to making inappropriate jokes like that and was simply too ignorant (that’s the nicest way to put it lol) to think about it before he said it and how it would affect my feelings. Especially after getting to know him so much better I definitely don’t think he’s the type to cheat on me, and even if he was, he understands that’s my best friend and would never try anything with her. So I don’t think he meant what he said. But it was still very upsetting nonetheless and almost caused me to dump him.


[Sometimes, remorse is more to do with a person feeling like his/her character is being questioned which is causing them panic, rather than feeling remorseful over the fact they've hurt someone else.]

I do see your point and I agree, but I believe it was a combination of the two honestly. Although immature, he’s a very sensitive and empathetic person and I think even though his remorse was in part due to him panicking over the possibility of being dumped and his character being questioned, he was genuinely upset that he hurt me and was more upset with himself than anything else. I could be wrong but that’s just how I viewed it.



[What do you typically argue about? I ask because being in a relationship is very new to you so I wouldn't assume how you argue is typical in all relationships.]

Well our major arguments are pretty much always about these two incidents from the past. It’s the only time I get genuinely really upset with him.
[Listen to your gut instincts.]

That’s the thing though. I’m not sure if these thoughts at night are my gut instincts or just me over thinking due to anxiety.

[To breaking up with him?]

Yes. I feel like since he’s come such a long way and things are so good now it would be pointless to break up with him over things he did or jokes he made 5 months ago.

It sounds like a stressful relationship and you're giving him the control. Don't. There IS a point.. always.[/QUOTE]

I only really get stressed about it when I’m left alone with my thoughts. I only ever stress about the past. Nothing he says or does now stresses me out or makes me uncomfortable or exceptionally angry. I only get upset when I think about these incidents. I completely understand where you’re coming from and I’ll 100% put all of this into consideration, but I don’t necessarily feel like he has control at this point. He’s all in. He’ll stay with me for as long as I let him. It’s just up to me whether or not it continues. Thank you so much for your response.