Quote:
Originally Posted by Writtensinz
My husband was diagnosed with bipolar before we met. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into since we had been friends before even dating.
He takes his meds. He goes to therapy (until they make him mad and he has to find a new one).
I’m now starting to suspect he’s just a jerk. He blames BP for everything. He can’t do anything around the house because his BP makes it so he can’t see what needs to be done. And I’m insensitive for suggesting otherwise.
Here’s the kicker. He can tell other people to do the things that he “doesn’t see” like empty the trash, out the dishes away, vacuum. But his claims are that BP prevents him from understanding that these things need to be done and should be done by him.
So frustrated.
|
I don't blame you for feeling frustrated. I find that the BP people I've known, act the same way: they have this sense of entitlement about them that they use as an excuse not to be responsible for ANYTHING.
It's infuriating as a non-BP person to have to deal with, because it's like you have to constantly "parent" the BP sufferer which is an unthankful job, b/c as an adult, you expect them to be responsible but they just don't want to be.
They act like children and throw a tantrum and get angry if you try to hold them responsible for their behavior.
I have little to no empathy for any BP sufferer due to my personal experiences with them. I even dated a guy with BP and it was one of the worst relationships I've ever had. He literally would blame everyone else for his behavior, rather than own up to it or take any responsibility for himself. He had no self-awareness, which made him seem like a jerk.
I don't know if his lack of self-awareness was a side effect of his BP disorder, or his parents just coddled him so that he became entitled as an adult. But, he refused to take responsibility for his behavior when we dated; being late to dates, not follow through on promises to me, lying to me, gaslighting me.
I broke up with him because I was tired of being the parent, having to pick up after him, drive him everywhere, pay for dates because he refused to, defend him in social situations when he would offend people and then later claim it was due to his BP disorder.
My advice is to separate legally from your husband and start the divorce process, for your peace of mind. Only few and far between can handle being married to someone with a BP disorder because it literally wipes the caretaker out emotionally and physically and financially on an hourly basis.
I don't think you need therapy. I think you need divorce. Sorry. He will never ever change. You know this. There is nothing you can do to make a BP sufferer take responsibility for themselves due to their sense of entitlement, their victimhood that they wear like a badge that they use to excuse themselves from following the regular rules of society. I have nothing good to say about a BP sufferer.