hi, im new to this forum and i made this account just to ask questions like this. im terrified im a pedophile.
im 19 years old, ive dealt with physical, emotion, and sexual trauma since i was little, and have been a victim of pedophilia multiple times. partially as a way to cope, i began enjoying problematic content in fiction. ive always been told that since i like loli and shota content that im a pedophile and im starting to believe it.
i feel like i cant masturbate to normal porn anymore. it has to be anime porn or it wont feel as good. its been this way for years, but recently ive been super paranoid about it.
is it just hotter because its fictional? or am i really turning into a pedophile?
if i am, then i will quite literally kill myself. ive been hurt too many times by pedophiles and the thought of being one just makes me want to destroy myself