I'm weighing my options, and this is one I have to investigate

I don't think I can afford to divorce.

I have a good job, and clear about $4000 a month.

We've been together 20 years, so spousal support is paid until I die, basically.

I'm the primary wage earner.

By all online calculators available, we will split all assets, and I will pay spousal support (not child support) of up to $2400 a month. She is self employed and earns a small income. That support amount doesn't seem to change, regardless of her making 10K a year or 35K a year.

So, my good job will leave me with about $1600/mth of income. I'd easily be into $1000/month for an apartment and utilities.

We have about 100K value in our home. But, I contribute to a company pension, so I expect I will walk away from any value in the house and more, as she will get half my accumulated pension.

How the heck do people do this?