Well your wife might want spousal support for life but unless she is on disability most certainly she won’t get it for life. It’s ridiculous

My husband was married nearly 30 years when he and his ex divorced. She was awarded alimony, Sure she wanted for life and about double the amount but judge thought otherwise. There was a limit to spousal support. Yes it was tough for him to pay it but there was the light at the end of the tunnel. It eventually ends

Usually alimony is for few years, 5, 10 etc Not forever. There is no reason for your ex to not go get a job so that’s how courts look at it. They also won’t take most of your salary to be paying someone who is capable of working. The amount suppose to be within reason

She will need few years to get her act together and after that there is no need to be supported by her ex forever. She can work just like everyone else.

Yes she might walk away with half your pension but often times if she receives alimony from you, judge won’t give her your pension. Typically it’s either one or the other. If she wants your pension she will get less alimony if any

Honestly instead of looking at calculators, you have to go to talk to a lawyer. Lawyers will be looking at all that and negotiating

Overall that’s why I believe people need to encourage their spouses to be equal partners, not dependents. Our minor children should be our dependents. Not adult spouses. Sure stay home while kids are too young to be in school and day care is too expensive. But you can’t claim to be “stay at home mom” when kids aren’t even at home.

So when you ask how most people do it, nowadays most women are equal partners and men aren’t sole providers anymore. Then things split evenly. Honestly if she is the one wanting divorce now, she should go get a job and start contributing. Kids are 18, so she can’t claim to be stay at home mom.