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seesaw
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seesaw grieving
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
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Default Nov 29, 2020 at 10:29 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
Your brother is not ready to be receptive the way you would like. Right now he has too many anchors weighing him down and he is looking for a presence to dump some of them on. He may be in therapy but he isn't at a stage in therapy where he has gained any actual skills yet.


He isn't at a place where he is capable of seeing YOUR pain or challenges either. He has too many weights he is carrying of his own that he has no idea how to let go of. It's very much like trying to rescue a drowning person and when you get near them all they can do is pull you down instead of allowing you to save them.
Seriously the drowning person metaphor is spot on. But it's not just that. This isn't new stuff. He tried to bring stuff up from the past and say that I got angry out of nowhere and cut him off, and I was like that BS. Before I cut off contact entirely I had more than one conversation with you in which I confronted you for using me. When we reconnected he pretended not to know things that I had told him, and I'm just like, if you really didn't know these things or don't remember them then it's just proof that you didn't really care at all because I told you these things. We had intense conversations in which I told you these things.

And last night I said flat out to him, here are exactly the things that I specifically said to you before. I'm not going to let you pretend they didn't happen or I didn't say them directly to you anymore. When we reconnected and he pretended not to remember (or honestly didn't bc he's a self absorbed jerk) I let it slide because I thought "new day, that's in the past, fresh start). Then last night when I told him he was being hurtful and he starts attacking me, I just decided enough was enough. He doesn't get to make me into a villain or the bad guy.

It's 100% like before. No one has any problems but him. No one has feelings but him.

I didn't send nasty messages or anything. I just said here is what happened and here are the things you claim not to have known or remember. And since you don't care that you hurt me unless there is evidence, here are the things you are doing right now that are hurtful. And the thing is, even before I sent that I said to him that I struggle with severe mental illness on a daily basis, and he has never asked how I'm really doing or cared, and he didn't even acknowledge that. Just went on the attack.

He's not safe. I won't be around him. I gave it a shot. But I've sacrificed my life enough for this screwed up family, and I will not continue to do so.

__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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