Thanks for your replies, guys. This means a lot to me.
Today it was mother's day and I couldn't but send my mom flowers. she says she loves me, so maybe it's just that i should find strength to forgive her for not knowing how to express her love to me in my childhood? Really, she was just a teen when she had me.

these are the feelings which always interchange in my mind...
I really think I can't forgive her unless I resolve my self-esteem issues with myself....