Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
Well, support and validation that it's okay to protect myself are what I need. But there is this tendency to try and psychoanalyze the person doing their harm and list out all the excuses for their behavior. I really don't care why he is being hurtful or abusive or a user. I cannot fix him, so the reasons why are of no use to me. What is of use to me is figuring out how to set my boundaries and protect myself.
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Of course, it is good, and very important to protect yourself. You can't fix him, and can only help him, if he wants to be helped.
It's a tough one figuring out boundaries. I still want to help my brother. Even though he has been very volatile and unstable. I understand how our upbringing has wounded him.
We are pretty estranged at the minute. Sometimes I pop round to see how he is, and if he's non-responsive I go off, and sometimes we have a laugh (not for a little while). It's not like walking on eggshells, or a minefield, or anything anymore. That bouncy castle (bounce house ?) description is pretty fitting (thanks @
unaluna if it was you who said that).
It might help to decide on some ultimatums...like what you will have to do, if he behaves in a certain way.