This is not an easy thing to write but I needed to.
A little over a year ago my family found out some things I had been doing that were not good (I do not want to go into it here) to my mom (it was not any kind of abuse I will say that) and they told me I could not visit or see her for a while. I was fine with that, but I did end up spending last Thanksgiving alone and then out of the blue I got a text message from my sister that she was inviting me to Christmas but I couldn't stay with her (Which I wouldn't have either) but I went and although it was painful and awkward it was fine-my mom was there and she was fine.

In the last year I've had some hard times not being able to really see my mom. She did come through town once and we had dinner but not the old relationship we had. She called me today to check on something and through the course of the conversation I found out that my family is going to our vacation home for Christmas and I was not asked or included. She said something like maybe I could find a needy family to help on Christmas day. That just floored me. We talked a little bit more about just general chit chat and I tried to not let it get to me. When we hung up she said "I love you, honey". I wanted to say if you loved me so much why are you shutting me out of the holidays? I have a feeling that this goes back to my sisters and them telling her to not have much to do with me. I agree I made a big mistake and am paying dearly for it, but for a family that was pretty close this is just killing me.

Anyway I just wanted to get some feedback and see what people think, even though I know it's not really gonna matter in the long run. What's done is done . I have my own therapist that I will see the last part of this week and will tell her about this. Oh, and yes they didn't ask me for Thanksgiving this year ( a co worker asked me to her house and at least I was not alone!)

Thanks,
Lisa