I can't accept physical contact from my therapist, nor from many people. It has become a recurring feature of my work. I push her away when she offers physical comfort. She moves forward and I move back. She seems to think I will be able to allow it to happen at some point, but I am not sure. Disgust and repulsion are big feelings for me. When she says she feels a pull towards me or wants to hold me, I usually say something like, "If I were a different person, I would like to accept a hug now". God, I am an idiot.