I think what you did with your kids actually sounds pretty helpful for them, as opposed to just telling them off or dismissing their feelings when they were upset or angry. Helping them find words to express their feelings is a good thing!
I honestly don’t think my mum is a narc, but she has told me off or said stuff like “that’s just how it is” or even blamed me for something happening when I’ve been upset before. I love her in my own way, but when I’m upset she’s rarely been that helpful. I hate saying all that, but it’s true.