Quote:
Originally Posted by Toughcooki
That's really interesting.. I really don't feel anger OR joy. I can feel both in a brief flash, but then it's gone. I don't mind not feeling anger, as it makes me feel really uncomfortable. But I miss feeling joy.  I don't know why I'd repress it - maybe I don't feel like I deserve it.
I have felt lots and lots and lots of sadness & fear about the crap things that I've dealt with in my life, but I totally have not dealt with anger at all so I can totally see how I would have repressed a whole heck of a lot of it. Kind of unnerving to imagine the levels of anger/rage I probably have boxed up in the backroom of my brain. I almost wonder if I should wait till my youngest is 18 & in college, and then check myself in someplace with a padded room to figure it out.  Only another 5 or so years.  I just don't think 1 hour-long sesson every month or so is going to get me through such a messy excavation. 
Something to think about.... And worry about... LOL |
Haha, aw, I think it's got to take as long as it takes. I don't know how much time you've got to work on this stuff. It is hard work, and lots of practice. It's probably good to think about what has ever made you really happy, and probably really painful to face up to why that's been shut down
or what made you think you don't deserve that. It's hard to change your mind on these things. Good to start small sometimes, like do you even pick foods that actually make you happy? I didn't for a really long time. Totally avoided joy and anger at all costs!
