Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
It sounds like he’s religious, so getting married under those circumstances is common and their marriage may be great. There’s a feeling you’re having about your feelings about yourself and relationships that is the reason why you are feeling resentment toward his marriage and also are at the age where all friends seem to be coupling.
You thought he’s using you by sending you an invitation. What would he be using you for, a gift? If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. You didn’t have a fallout with him and were once a very close friend, so I think congratulating them, a card, a gift/ attend or not attend. Will there still be a pandemic? Social distancing is a great excuse.
It also sounds like you and he had some other issues when you were friends. You shared an abuse situation, he tried to drag you back into religion. All your feelings on this are valid.
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Thank you for coming in clutch with this post TishaBuv! You always seem to read me like a book and know exactly what to say to see me through, and that is definitely true here.
I'm 25 yo and still single. Even though I couldn't imagine any other life stage other than the one I'm in, I have started losing my patience and interest with things involving happy couples and marrying. Often due to so-called friends who have treated me rudely or have ignored any efforts to connect personally as was successful before. I can easily prevent projecting my insecurities on this friend, but for now, yeah I feel most definitely resentful.
And yes, I have started to fear that I am being used only for a gift. After the last time we met up nearly two years ago, we had nice conversations initially before they started to digress into long non-communications except for holiday and birthdays. And most of the time I've done all the work in reaching out. Not to sound cynical but I do have a bad feeling there could be more of this behavior.
This wedding isn't until June, when we may have a vaccine already, but I'm a purebred germaphobe and can still use that tendency as a form of self-protection. lol Thanks again for this thoughtful post and for validating my feelings in order to help improve my situation!