Well, i respect Your decision of not calling a suicide hotline, although i'd recommend to seriously think about it, especially if it gets worse. i am not sure how much Help i can be but Please do feel Free to contact me if You need to talk! Please do stay Safe. SEnding many Safe, Warm Hugs to BOTH You, @DarkMagician, Your Family, Your FriEnds And ALL of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting And keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!