Ugh, I told Dr. T today, in the midst of talking of my fears about COVID and a winter surge, that I'm worried he would die (say, of COVID) before I am able to see him in person again. To his credit, he handled it very well, saying he found it to be "heartwarming."

I tempered it by saying I have similar fears regarding my friends and family (which is true!) But I still feel a bit awkward and pathetic about it. Yet also sort of relieved to have gotten it out.

Earlier in session I mentioned how I miss actually being in his office (he normally does Zoom sessions from there, and was there today), and he said I'm not the first client to have said that. And that he wonders at times if he'll ever see a client in person there again and seemed kind of sad about it (he said he has no plans to give up his office, partly because he's stuck in a long lease of the office suite and rents out to like 10 other clinicians of various sorts).

On a lighter note, early in session I mentioned something (not related to him) and said I was concerned he'd judge me for it. Dr. T: "I'd never judge you for it." Me: "OK, good, I was afraid you'd think I was a monster." Dr. T: "Well, it's already been established that you're a monster, so that's not an issue." Me: "Ah, you determined that in the first year or so?" Dr. T: "Exactly."