litlredvet...

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through.

It sounds as if both of you aren't able to be in a place you both truly want to be. Perhaps right now you both aren't healed enough from past relationships? Who knows...

It is a good thing to keep busy, being busy has helped me in a lot of ways... at least I could be focused and felt as if I was able to do something, even if it was as simple as cooking something to eat or doing dishes or driving a kid somewhere. It made me feel at least useful so that I could be a little more ahead each day.