You have explained it so well.
I’m being pretty harsh myself by blaming the parents. Maybe, it’s not so much a matter of blaming or guilty than responsibility and understand the dynamics that took place in a family.
It’s obvious that if I’m kind of stopped from showing my real self and conversely I’m reinforced when showing specific demeanours that fit the image my caretakers have of myself, I’m gonna try to be the other person and hide the real one. Take it to an extreme, I could even forget about my true self and embrace the mask that is the one that open doors for me. If someone or something threaten my mask, I’m gonna try to avoid losing what took me so many effort to built. Even at cost of my own self.
In which level I’m gonna fight, it will depend on how embraced and how much I believe my mask. I guess the majority of people have a chance.

I had been working as a teacher for 20 years. I still consider myself a teacher and my experience through practice and learning from experts taught me something I keep repeating over and over again. We have been having a misconception about the role of our kids. I’m talking in a general sense now but I know many parents claim the same as me. Kids won’t ever be an extension of ourselves.
They don’t come here to complete a “mission” we couldn’t fulfil or display the characteristics we have in mind. They are gonna be unique and this is how it has to be. They will be always absolutely perfect in their imperfections. They are gonna be them.