Quote:
Originally Posted by Fewmiled
I understand those thoughts about therapy that you refer to as an addiction. When things get intense in treatment it is very hard to hold onto T between sessions. It's like I'm just under water or floating in space and he is a memory but not something I can hold onto. It leads to trying to find him (sort to speak) with more thoughts, texts then I like. It's confusing, disruptive and painful. Also, it's an opportunity to learn why this happens and how to change it. I have wondered if it has to do with object permanence or something.
T and I plan to talk about these feelings you speak of this week. I am at a place in my life where I have to do the work of therapy with the hope these feelings will dissipate through work and a slow pace.
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Yes, it's very holding onto my T between sessions. It's like a distant memory of sorts at times. I find the fact that I only see one side of them adds to this. I struggle to even imagine them outside of their therapy room as it's all I've ever seen them in. That makes them somehow feel even less real too. If I can't even imagine T outside of the room how can I be expected to hold onto them in my mind? And if they seem less real to me when not with them then they are I am certainly not going to be remembered by someone who is not real.. a lack of object constancy for sure. aghhh .Yes, I hope like you that these feelings will slowly improve through work.