The loss itself is never anything one can really prepare for. And when it happens we have to face how there are things that happen in our lives that we do not have any control over. That's hard enough, but then there is a stage that I call the realization of absence. It's very personal, because it's how that presence had an affect on you personally.

My father in law is having a hard time since his wife died. He gets angry when anyone tells him to let go and move on etc. I have to say, that is NOT how to respond to someone struggling. My FIL talks about how his wife was his sweetheart for 70 years. And I know he needs to be able to talk about it, so I let him talk and "feel" so he isn't "feeling alone". My MIL was a very kind and patient woman, and everyone misses her.

Honestly, we never JUST get over a loss, we SLOWLY learn to live our lives despite that absence. That means learning how to do our holidays without that presence and it's not easy. When it's there we get so used to it being there, we don't really think about it not being there. But when it is lost, we slowly realize the value of life. If we did not struggle like this, we would not enjoy togetherness, we would not care at all and if that was the case, we would not have survived the way we have.