wanting more for your physical and mental well being is not selfish. my t told me, after several sessions with the husband with nothing changing and finally my leaving, that i was the most important. you have made many sacrifices in your life which shows me that you are not the selfish type. but as my t told me, enough is enough, you can only do so much for others before you must tell all to kiss off and take care of you. i would say you have had enough. you have put others before you and now you are what is important.

my husband did go to t with me, but it didn't help us. i am glad he went, because after i left him, and went back to see t, he told me he wasn't surprised i left. he seen my side and totally understood it because he got to see what i was dealing with first hand. and my t told me to stop beating myself up ( i was very angry with myself for yet another failed marriage, my second ) and told me i shouldn't feel guilty because i did all i could.

no one can tell you what to do, and you shouldn't just run with what others say. take what others say to open your mind and help you explore your options. only you can do what is right for you.

your happiness is important. you are important. if you are not happy, you need to change things. being unhappy for long periods is not good for your physical or mental health. how you change it is up to you.

i am sorry for your pain, but it will fade with time. you are what is important. no matter what road you chose to take, i wish you all the best and hope you find happiness with you and your life.
take care
grace