Oh yeah, I have been that girl! Sorry if I come across as rude (please take it with a pinch of salt)...we are NOT girls anymore!
This guy has been objectifying you, from what you say, I am sure of this. I would suggest thinking not of what you were giving (you threw that away), but of what you were getting. What has this guy got that you want. Is he carefree? Does he look after himself? It sounds like he impressed you, and maybe you need to impress yourself.
I know it's not this simple, but sometimes a man thinks he has to be strong and have no needs, then he is attracted to a woman that seems vulnerable and needy. Neither of you are aware of your strengths and vulnerabilities and needs
It is good that you're active and financially stable. You don't sound like a "silly girl", but it sounds like you have got stuck trying to win over dismissive men, and that makes you feel like a child.
If you think of all the time and money you threw at him, what could that have earned you if you'd invested that in yourself instead?
I hope you can stop throwing your love away and give some back to yourself
Welcome (back) to PC Overgiver