Here is a list of some of the accomodations offered elsewhere which might help with the documentation you need to write:
http://www.bu.edu/cpr/reasaccom/educa-accom.html
Sweetie...could you explain this sentence, "I am thinking in the back of my mind that it would be easier for him to just die."?
I wish I could help more.
I'm so sorry you are going through so much!
emmy