Thank you, KBMK

He hasn't given me much, barely anything. He is very different what he is in front of people and then with me in a good way, but honestly, all this happened because of me.
What kills me the most is the lack of communication, closure, logical explanation besides "I am busy". No one is that busy to write back 2 sentences.

I wake up and wish to go back to sleep as I am.overwhelmed with this feeling of rejection, of "you are not worth my words". He watches my stories, but still, not a single word and we ended a good conversation last time. 5 days passed I sent him a message asking to call me... seen. Then another 2 saying ok I am on a holiday if you need help with anything or if I can see you... seen. 2 more days. Then I sent a picture with a quote that noone is to busy... seen. The I got angry and sent a dozen of messages, including all the best, sorry things are ending like this... seen. 4 days and I sent him an I miss you, why no word from you, block me as I can't if you dont want me to text... seen. Let me tell you this is usual for him, but not as much. And I have before sent similar messages but at some point he would either call or say sorry I am busy or something. So this is usual dynamic for us, but not that much of ignoring. Feel like I am on fire and drowning at the same time as I am going through those emotions as if I am in a withdrawal or something. Trust me when I say that there is almost mo one else to put up with that behaviour for that long. I am emotional, yes, but I am and always have been a giver and that is just something I am struggling so much to change.
I deleted my fb and messanger apps now, so that I am not tempted to check up on him.
How will I ever feel like myself again...