Sky and TaintedGoth

I guess it was harsh. I apologize. Suicide is such a trigger for me because I had to grow up with my mother's constant suicide attempts. There were plenty of times I walked into a room and thought my mother was already dead. As a little kid, I mustered the strength to pull my unconscious mother out of our car in the garage, figure out how to turn it off, and drag her into the house. I then had to figure out what to do next because my father was out of town, my sister wasn't home, and my neighbors didn't want to get involved because it was a "family matter."

I have many friends who have to deal with the horrible effects of discovering the bodies of their loved ones. It's a stain that never leaves their heart - it's a horrible pain they have to live with every day. My heart goes out to Deborah Jeane's mother. She won't be allowed to grieve properly.

I became an angry kid over time because of all the soldiers overseas in Viet Nam sacrificing their lives for us, even though they desperately wanted to live. I became sarcastic and made many harsh statements like the one above because I was not allowed to cry at home or in public.

I feel sometimes like we have traveled back to that time in the 1960s. It doesn't help that I live in the same house where I grew up. Every day we hear of people either taking or sacrificing their own lives. Every day we hear of people in desperate situations fighting to stay alive.

I have to live with a terminal illness without any cure. I'm homebound, imprisoned for life, and it will only get worse. I also fight suicidal ideation. Not only is it all around me, it's inside me too. It's overwhelming sometimes. I'm still not allowed to cry. It's too excruciating for my eyes because of the lattice corneal dystrophy and corneal erosions that erupt when I do cry.

I was very saddened to hear Deborah Jeane took her own life, but my heart goes out most to her mother. Deborah Jeane chose the prostitution field - it wasn't forced on her. She was aware it would carry some risk. I didn't know Deborah Jeane, but in general I don't have much respect for people who work in the prostitution field - or those who frequent their establishments.

My sarcastic remark stemmed from a segment I had just watched on TV with kids talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. I'm sorry my remark offended you.