Hey everyone,

I've been thinking about posting this for a while, and have felt really worried for some time. To be honest I've been really up and down with it and go through periods of thinking this is just OCD and then other periods where my mind is just convinced that something wasn't right here.

So a couple of months ago I was referred from my regular dentist to a specialist to have some quite intensive tooth procedures done. This dentist is well regarded, has absolutely amazing reviews etc, so I was thinking all would be well. I've always been a little concerned about the dentist anyway in terms of contamination (my OCD focuses on blood borne diseases mainly) and it isn't the first time I've felt anxious about things the dentist has done while I've been in the chair, but this is just tormenting me so badly and I can't seem to let go.

So I went in and everything seemed spotless in reception and the waiting area. Everything clean and they have all of the COVID procedures in place etc. Everyone was wearing masks and gloves and such. I wasn't allowed to touch anything not even the door handles! I'm thinking that this is really good and obviously they've got their infection procedures well established etc, but then I went into the actual surgery bit (where you have the work done). Again, everything seemed clean and such, but I couldn't help but notice little things in there that kind of alarmed me a bit.

My main area of concern was the computer keyboard. The dentist did not touch the keyboard the entire time I was there until he was ungloved after the procedure. However, the nurse had to type some things in when I had a x-ray and some other bits and pieces about my teeth. This happens all the time I think... But I've never noticed before now (OCD picking up on it I'm guessing). Anyway I was kind of trying to see whether or not she took her gloves off when she did this. It's hard to tell when you're laying in the chair, but I didn't hear her remove them or put new ones back on again. I'm basically concerned that she has been touching the keyboard with dirty saliva gloves, coming back and then working in my mouth with contaminated gloves (which she could have also done for previous patients). I also noticed the dentist doing little, less concerning things like opening the door while wearing gloves (before my treatment) and not changing them afterwards, and opening the box for me to put my bag and coat in (while gloved, but again before I had any treatment).

Like I said, my main worry here is the keyboard and mouse I guess. I even checked the brand of keyboard and they're not medical keyboards, and they weren't covered by plastic wraps or anything like that. I'm assuming they get wiped down after each patient, but is this good enough to kill blood borne pathogens? I'm not sure. Also, if they wiped the keyboards too often surely all the letters would come off?

I'm really really scared I could have caught something from this exposure. Particularly HIV for instance. It's awful feeling so frightened. I've been looking for reassurance, doing lots of googling and such and worse, I came down with a mystery illness a couple of weeks later which I thought could be HIV-related. People may wonder why I didn't question it at the time, but I also have crippling social anxiety and didn't want to make a fuss. I literally find it difficult to talk to anyone let alone start complaining to the dentist

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. I know reassurance is bad. I've thought about writing to the dentist to check that they clean the keyboards between patienrs, but think this is a compulsion and again, I don't want to make a fuss, especially as they'd find out my name and the rest of the service I experienced was top notch! I guess I just needed to vent and hear some comforting words if anyone has any. I'm struggling to concentrate at work because of this. I don't know if I'm being over-dramatic. I don't know what I think or what to do. I don't want to get tested because the fear waiting for the results is unreal, and also it feeds the OCD, but I'm also scared I will pass something to my partner.

Thanks to anyone who read all this... it helps to just vent, I'm just so so worried and scared!