Thanks guys. This is not the first guy that is ghosting me, but somehow I always kind of sensed when or why this might have happened. At least there was something that seemed off, something I wanted they didn't or the other way around, and somehow, I have received some type of closure - It was just for fun, I prefer you as a friend, I am not ready or at least that happened in the beginning (first month or two). Never 9 months into a relationship, not only that he also introduced me to his parents by himself, I didn't even expect that happening.

I am a very logical person, easy-going and polite, always have been. I have never met a guy who would just disappear without any kind of explanation that I can at least find by myself.
I had one guy ghosting me as we were just not ok intimately, actually 2 like this and I knew why it happened when it happened. One came back 6 months later apologizing, so did the other one a couple of months after. But I knew why this happened.
I had a guy who ghosted me as he was not ready for a relationship and he mentioned that a couple of times casually so that was something I was worried with as well, he was 1 month out of 10 year relationship when he met me, but he came back later explaining why he did what he did.
One ghosted me as we never clicked, we never had that going and I even expected this will happen.
The rest were my serious relationships which usually ended in at least a conversation.

All of those hurt, but those were usually fairly early in a relationship and I already knew something was off from very beginning, I did not give my all to those people as much as maybe I knew those are not ok. I knew it deep down. You know what I am talking about? That little voice telling you this is not going ahead, this is not happening, this is not your guy, this is not the one.
I clicked with this guy from the very first date so much, that I have not had that kind of energy and potential from years of dating but I never feel as comfortable as I did with anyone from the moment I met him. Ever.
I probably am getting stupider in time. I have no other explanation. A simple "sorry, we cannot meet each other anymore" is much better than this.
I kind of wish already that this nonsense will stop. How many years of heartbreak can one take... This one took my all. It is getting harder every time.

"I know it's hard, but you have to get closure for yourself." - KBMK this is the hardest part. I know I have to, I just can't find the strength for this yet
"Most of people out there are worthless, they have no real value, unfortunately." - MisterPaul, I do tend to agree with you. I am so tired of this. Feels like I should rather get 8 more cats and just devote myself to a life of solitude and not even think about getting involved with anyone anymore. It is a whole story, but my life as an overall has been extremely difficult and it took me years of fights, extreme hours at work, a lot of strength and what not to get to the place where I am. The stress levels I have to bear every day are off the charts, but this is my job and unfortunately, the situation with my family. I wish there was one thing that can come in my life and not take all the strength and fight I have to get it right. Nothing ever came easy for me. I can only be grateful I am healthy so is my dad. That's all... rest is a fight morning till evening. I am depleted of whatever there is left of me.