I always feel like I'm forgetting something this time of year especially when New Years Eve comes around. This was my most ill year and I'm having trouble facing any holiday since Thanksgiving. I made it through that one with plenty of anxiety. Setting up the Christmas tree was another painful day but I got through that. Now Christmas is coming and my mind can't take it. I am practically afraid of it. For the sake of my family I have to pull through but I am more concerned with developing some form of mania or worse, depression.