View Single Post
Toughcooki
Member
 
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 221
3
247 hugs
given
Default Dec 03, 2020 at 02:35 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Yes, it seems like he’s taking his anger out on you, not so much for anything you did, but because he’s angry and you are the closest punching bag. What can you do to ease this anger? Maybe have a conversation with him and make him feel heard, maybe apologize for whatever he alleges you did.
Oh gosh I tried this for years. Every day almost we would sit & I'd try to think of things I'd done so I could apologize, try to empathize with anything else going on, try to find ways to meet in the middle. As long as they were in a good mood, they were gracious about forgiving me. If they were not in a good mood, they simply glared and refused to discuss.

I’ve had a terrible incident that drove away my son recently. It was him callously turning on his parents, then justifying it by saying we were bad parents. He mustered up only two reasons as justification, issues that never were at the time. Only in hindsight did he decide we were bad to ease his conscience for treating us very good parents horribly.

Even though the incident was a shyt show, I have slowly reached out often and we are on a bit better terms. So, my son, who was truly wonderful and we never had one ounce of conflict, went to college and got turned against his parents. It was an ‘okay boomer’ individuation on steroids thing. We weren’t even demanding parents, but somehow got hated for everything our generation stands for. He did something so hurtful to us, I can’t even say.
[COLOR="magenta"]I'm so sorry. It feels like such a betrayal when someone you love and have sacrificed for goes and does those hurtful things. Mine has spread rumors about me, tried to get me in trouble with the police, filed false reports, tried to put my youngest in a harmful situation, and piles of other things. It just never seems to end. /COLOR]
Keep praying and trying if you want a better relationship. If you really fear him, protect yourself. At this point I'm just praying to be able to raise my youngest in peace and quiet. It sounds so horrible but I'm numb at this point. Someday when my youngest is an adult, and I don't need to worry about their safety, maybe I can try reaching out again. At this point I just feel like I need to protect myself and my youngest.

Also, since you mentioned MI, at one point my h told him ‘you know Mom has emotional issues, please make this one and only small concession so we can attend your wedding, he said “No special treatment for MI” and he refused, so we didn’t go. How’s that for a shyt show?
That's so mean. I'm so sorry that happened...
Toughcooki is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
downandlonely, TishaBuv