Tomorrow I have an appt with the OT running my course at college. She is lovely younger than me and pretty. Anyways, I think I am meant to have an idea of what I want to do after next Thurs 10th Dec when I finish college course. I have no idea.

I'm worried that I'm disappointing her. I hate how I worry about others but I do. I don't want her to think if me in bad light or like I'm a bum etc.

Since she came to my house to collect my excessive meds I have felt really embarrassed. The added thing for me is it has unfortunately turned into a girl crush I hate when this happens.i can't even look at her without getting embarrassed

She is gonna expect me to know kinda what I want to do and I'm really at a loss. I would love a job but I have been rejected so many times. Plus they say I need to be med compliant for a year.... no joke how am I EVER going yo be able to do this when I'm struggling daily to be med compliant. I can't go to college as there is nothing I want to do. I can't go to university I'm not clever enough for that. So I'm left with volunteering which I technically still do.

I must attend this appt so cancelling isn't an option. Any help you can give me??