My SO is good and doesn't need my cousin; good schools, good GPA, PhD, soon MBA, good publication record, no employment gaps, and lots of people to give recommendations. But when you apply for a job in biotech, there's so much competition that it always helps knowing someone on the inside, to get your application through the door. That's just standard. My SO has friends/contacts elsewhere, so whether my cousin will help or not really doesn't matter, professionally. In fact, my cousin's company wouldn't even be on our radar; it's not that big. But she's sent so many texts over the years telling me about how it's such a great company and I should apply that I was left with the (false) impression that I had a contact there. And let me really stress--for example, literally having a 5-minute breakfast with someone at a conference and adding that person as a contact on LinkedIn is probably enough for them to vouch for you in such a situation and vice-versa.

As for why she doesn't know my SO--basically, because she was never interested. That's literally the only reason she doesn't know my SO. Divine--I'll write you more about it in a PM...

I guess I've always felt that my cousin is way too self-important and flaky. There were times in the past when she just did or said something so shallow/crappy that I felt like I should just give up on the friendship. Her lack of interest in ever getting to know my SO was extremely hurtful. But the rest of the family is even worse so I kept on fooling myself we could be friends. I'm really kicking myself now for ever giving her the time of day.