I agree with divine! It's sad that this has taken a part of you, and I won't keep pushing this point, but you chased this guy...you wasted your time/energy/money, with no reason to think you would get anything back from him.
I know you think that "giving" like this is a kindness, but it's really a very cruel thing you are doing to yourself.
You do deserve better, and you have to be the first see that, and treat yourself better